Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Two Jews On Battleship

Two Jews On Battleship
Battleship - Movie Review By Joan Alperin Schwartz 'Battleship' directed by Peter Berg (Hancock) has a poorly constructed script, ridiculous dialogue, cardboard charcters and it's really, really loud. It does have bad ass aliens and some exciting visual effects, but that is not enough to save this $200000000 fiasco. When the film opens, we find out that a group of scientists in Hawaii, have sent out a signal to Planet G whose atmosphere is similar to ours. They must have been thinking...Wow, another planet we get to ruin...Anyway to the scientists surprise, their signal is heard. That's right folks...The extra terrestials are coming to visit and these dudes are not your mama's aliens. Unfortunately before our visitors get here...we are subjected to...A really hackneyed plot and slew of boring, bland characters,including... Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) a bad boy who's celebrating his 26th birthday in a local bar with his big brother, Stone,(Alexander Skarsgard) a Naval Command! er. Alex overhears a girl...Samantha (the very blond Brooklyn Decker) ordering a chicken burrito...Too bad the kitchen is closed. But not to worry...Hopper is on it. He breaks into a local convenience store, and returns with...one big fat chicken burrito. Too bad for Alex, he gets arrested before Samantha can see his six pack. But no worries, once you give a girl food, she's yours forever...At least according to Erich and Jon Hoeber, the writers of this mess. Moving right along, Stone tells his brother ...